Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I looked at my own cervix.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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