Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
