So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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