So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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