they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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