I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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