Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
