he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
