honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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