good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
