Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
