guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
