So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
