I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
