I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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