I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
