Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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