I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
