Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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