i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
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We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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