peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
