its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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