and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize