But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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