So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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