Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize