Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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