I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
