hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
