So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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