Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
