I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
