just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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