i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
