Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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