who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
is your mom at the bar?
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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