I am in a vortex of obligation.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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