They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize