i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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