just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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