my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
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it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
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So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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