You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
