She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
