Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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