I want to walk on stilts...naked
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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