the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
