HIV tests are more positive than that guy
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
