why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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