Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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