Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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