I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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