is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
