You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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