Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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