wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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