I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He shit in the fireplace
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
