6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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